broken ideals.

this evening I felt so shitty
that I fell asleep.

I woke up 5 min
before my 2 lady friends
were to arrive for tea. nearly
knocked over my drink
on the bedpost. set
the table in a fury

still quite hazy
whether from that evening
or the cumulative nights before,
only god knows.

when they
showed up 10 minutes late
I was just barely ready:
-splashed water on
my eyes, contemplated
my ridiculous bed-hair.
then went outside
let them in-
we ate cookies and
speculated politics
-since none of us really
had any clue.
stirred almond milk,
seeped herbs, placed
our hands on our
mugs like good old,
philosophical elderly folk.

Then they left

I went out
saw my emperor
had a smoke.
she asked me
if i was wearing
lipstick.
i said no,
later i said,
had red lips
cuz I was hazy.
She said I thought so,
and that I talked
and laughed
a lot.
I told her I wanted
to be like this all
the time.
she said I could be
till school starts

tonight I feel so elated.
elation comes before the fall.

don't want to fall.
not gonna fall.
it's always fall.